I don't know wat's wrong with me today.
Late nite insomnia coming back.
So...what happened today?
Had a great day because i really did study a bit.
Had a nice night cuz my new fren opened up to me.
Had a funny night cuz was talking bout another person with my housemate. (Unethical, but that's what you get by bringing "chuckler" home. ;p)
Had a nice afternoon cuz met an ancient coursemate when he was about to cross the street and talked to him a bit. Find him really interesting. And shy guys are so my type...(Was i born a bully???)
Had a nice dinner of wedges.
Had a numbing nap in the afternoon during class. (Sorry to those who were presenting~)
Took a pretty group picture with my MP lecturer.
Thought about the "taxi driver" when i was doing a quiz.
Recorded more evil laughter for the junior's RBC assignment. (Looking forward to the Jap meal this Fri with them~)
Had a great time watching the latest season of Bones. (Thx to my downloader, Wendy. Muahhx~)
Had a rush when we realised we had to register our timetable for nex sem today. (Surprise! Utar sucks...0.0)
Had a brief bubble over my head of wanting a Guinea Pig. (Was deterred by the thought of cage-cleaning duties.)
Had a brief impulsion to contact that "someone". (Was deterred by the fear of further complications.)
Is reminiscing about the time when someone would call me and lull me to sleep.
That pretty much sums up my day.
Niteties~~^^
Words
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
突然怀念
突然有点某明其妙的怀念
突然怀念你亲我的额头
突然怀念你抱着我睡觉
突然怀念和你在starbucks喝茶
突然怀念在你的手上涂鸦
突然怀念你唱歌给我听，哄我睡
突然怀念你抓着我的手，说后悔放开了
突然怀念你送那一大束公仔给我
突然怀念你开车，我坐在隔壁和你说话
突然怀念你开车，我在隔壁偷拍
突然怀念你坐单车载我，我在后面鬼叫
突然怀念醒来的时候可以看到你的傻样
突然怀念你在手机里写着：你酱累，我帮你拿袋
突然怀念和你一起看Wall-E
突然怀念。过去。
突然怀念你亲我的额头
突然怀念你抱着我睡觉
突然怀念和你在starbucks喝茶
突然怀念在你的手上涂鸦
突然怀念你唱歌给我听，哄我睡
突然怀念你抓着我的手，说后悔放开了
突然怀念你送那一大束公仔给我
突然怀念你开车，我坐在隔壁和你说话
突然怀念你开车，我在隔壁偷拍
突然怀念你坐单车载我，我在后面鬼叫
突然怀念醒来的时候可以看到你的傻样
突然怀念你在手机里写着：你酱累，我帮你拿袋
突然怀念和你一起看Wall-E
突然怀念。过去。
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Fairy Tales
My heart is pumping like a pistol.
I guess even after so long, i still care dun i?
She sent me a friend request quite long ago, i did not approve.
I even laughed and thought,"Like Hell i'd ever approve her."
Then today, i suddenly decided, "Why not?"
After i pressed that button, i had complete access to all her wall posts.
Like the curious cat i am, i went through her posts, trying to find out who she is in a relationship with,
and then i saw his post.
And i saw his profile picture. And i realised she was with him.
6 years. After 6 years, he got her.
It's just like a fairy tale.
It's not like i want to go back.
Ping!~
I realized.
It's not that i can't let go.
It's not that i hate really all couples and hate all who are in love.
I'm jealous. Horribly jealous.
I envy them because they can be so simple minded.
They can love without thinking too much. Without worrying if they have a future or not.
They don't have to think about alternatives.
They don't have to worry about how the other party might feel about this about that.
They don't push people away.
They don't hurt people.
I do.
Why do i?
I envy their happiness.
How can they believe in forever when tomorrow is unclear?
How can someone stay steadfast for so long?
I wish i was perfect.
I wish i didn't hurt people.
I wish i could be simple minded and naive and believe in fairy tales,
believe that All You Need Is Love.
like that stupid song.
I wish i could stop functioning.
I wish i could stop thinking.
I wish i could stop being this way.
I wish....i had a fairy tale of my own....
But then, I know me,
if i had one, i'd find a way to destroy it.
Cuz i'm me.
I destroy my own fairy tales.
I guess even after so long, i still care dun i?
She sent me a friend request quite long ago, i did not approve.
I even laughed and thought,"Like Hell i'd ever approve her."
Then today, i suddenly decided, "Why not?"
After i pressed that button, i had complete access to all her wall posts.
Like the curious cat i am, i went through her posts, trying to find out who she is in a relationship with,
and then i saw his post.
And i saw his profile picture. And i realised she was with him.
6 years. After 6 years, he got her.
It's just like a fairy tale.
It's not like i want to go back.
Ping!~
I realized.
It's not that i can't let go.
It's not that i hate really all couples and hate all who are in love.
I'm jealous. Horribly jealous.
I envy them because they can be so simple minded.
They can love without thinking too much. Without worrying if they have a future or not.
They don't have to think about alternatives.
They don't have to worry about how the other party might feel about this about that.
They don't push people away.
They don't hurt people.
I do.
Why do i?
I envy their happiness.
How can they believe in forever when tomorrow is unclear?
How can someone stay steadfast for so long?
I wish i was perfect.
I wish i didn't hurt people.
I wish i could be simple minded and naive and believe in fairy tales,
believe that All You Need Is Love.
like that stupid song.
I wish i could stop functioning.
I wish i could stop thinking.
I wish i could stop being this way.
I wish....i had a fairy tale of my own....
But then, I know me,
if i had one, i'd find a way to destroy it.
Cuz i'm me.
I destroy my own fairy tales.
2封信息
昨晚被朋友约了去看senior们的Final Year Project screening，所以今早早早就起床了（其实不是很早，而是所谓星期6的早）。
一起床就发现外面好暗，看了几次钟，“对啊～太阳应该出来啦～”
才发现外面还在下雨，原本想要睡回去的，可是想到如果我放飞机，会换来的颜色之后就快快爬起床了（结果她们都迟到 =.=)
起床第一件事当然是看电话，发现电话有2封信息。
是和我最好的男性朋友寄来的，
近来我们发生了一点事情。
关系变复杂了。也许是因为太在乎，所以他踏错一步我就很在意（其实不止一步）。
因为某些事情，我很生气他，对他好失望，所以好一阵子没有和他联络了。
他说，“我们怎么了？怎么比起最好的朋友更像陌生人？”
他说，“如果你生气我的话，我宁愿你骂我也不想要想我们现在这样。”
我看了过后，一边冲凉刷牙洗脸一边想。
想了我和他怎么从Hi Bye友便成了好朋友，再变成BestFriends，再变成暧昧，再变成现在这个样子。
当初说不能前进的是我。
想了我们的关系有多奇妙。想了为什么会变成这样。
想了是不是我的问题，我是不是不应该再生气 - 就吞下这口气，回到从前。
可是过后决定，我做不到。
如果真的是把对方当BestFriend的话，就不应该有太多的保留。
如果我勉强忍了这口气，勉强说没事，迟早会爆发的。
那对我不公平，也对他不公平。
而且我们已经走得太远了，回头是不可能的了。
发想了虽然他做错了，可是在我心中他还得有位置的。
所以决定了。
“我需要时间”
感触：能够在我心中占有BestFriend的status的人，不代表你做什么我都不会生气。只是如果我生气，我会选择一个对大家都公平的方式来解决。如果我在你心中占有同样的位置的话，我相信，你会明白，会珍惜我的坦白。而当我想通了的时候，我希望我们可以回到那个原点，笑着重逢。
才发现外面还在下雨，原本想要睡回去的，可是想到如果我放飞机，会换来的颜色之后就快快爬起床了（结果她们都迟到 =.=)
起床第一件事当然是看电话，发现电话有2封信息。
是和我最好的男性朋友寄来的，
近来我们发生了一点事情。
关系变复杂了。也许是因为太在乎，所以他踏错一步我就很在意（其实不止一步）。
因为某些事情，我很生气他，对他好失望，所以好一阵子没有和他联络了。
他说，“我们怎么了？怎么比起最好的朋友更像陌生人？”
他说，“如果你生气我的话，我宁愿你骂我也不想要想我们现在这样。”
我看了过后，一边冲凉刷牙洗脸一边想。
想了我和他怎么从Hi Bye友便成了好朋友，再变成BestFriends，再变成暧昧，再变成现在这个样子。
当初说不能前进的是我。
想了我们的关系有多奇妙。想了为什么会变成这样。
想了是不是我的问题，我是不是不应该再生气 - 就吞下这口气，回到从前。
可是过后决定，我做不到。
如果真的是把对方当BestFriend的话，就不应该有太多的保留。
如果我勉强忍了这口气，勉强说没事，迟早会爆发的。
那对我不公平，也对他不公平。
而且我们已经走得太远了，回头是不可能的了。
发想了虽然他做错了，可是在我心中他还得有位置的。
所以决定了。
“我需要时间”
感触：能够在我心中占有BestFriend的status的人，不代表你做什么我都不会生气。只是如果我生气，我会选择一个对大家都公平的方式来解决。如果我在你心中占有同样的位置的话，我相信，你会明白，会珍惜我的坦白。而当我想通了的时候，我希望我们可以回到那个原点，笑着重逢。
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
可惜，不是你……
他们总说：“感情的世界里，往往没有谁对谁错”
后面还有一句的，可是在这篇文章里面用不上，所以被跳过了。
还有：“感情的事情，没得解释”
我好赞成。
今天，某个他又多介绍了我一句：“不喜欢，却又不讨厌，是不是很烦呢？”
我实在太赞成了！！
有时候，不是对方不够好，也不是你不够好，
只是感觉不对。
你不是讨厌他，你不想让他伤心，
可是你不爱他。
如果他会比较容易放下，过得比较快乐，
你愿意当罪人，大声地对他说：“我讨厌你”
只是为了让他比较容易放下
可是，你不爱他。
感情的事情，真的很难说，
也许你会问“为什么为什么”
可是除了“对不起，感觉不对…”以外，
还能说什么？
感情的世界里，往往没有谁对谁错，只有谁比较爱谁。
可惜，不是你……
后面还有一句的，可是在这篇文章里面用不上，所以被跳过了。
还有：“感情的事情，没得解释”
我好赞成。
今天，某个他又多介绍了我一句：“不喜欢，却又不讨厌，是不是很烦呢？”
我实在太赞成了！！
有时候，不是对方不够好，也不是你不够好，
只是感觉不对。
你不是讨厌他，你不想让他伤心，
可是你不爱他。
如果他会比较容易放下，过得比较快乐，
你愿意当罪人，大声地对他说：“我讨厌你”
只是为了让他比较容易放下
可是，你不爱他。
感情的事情，真的很难说，
也许你会问“为什么为什么”
可是除了“对不起，感觉不对…”以外，
还能说什么？
感情的世界里，往往没有谁对谁错，只有谁比较爱谁。
可惜，不是你……
Monday, April 11, 2011
Drivel
Just read one of my older blogs today and realised that i used to write happy things (well, reasonably happy things)
Wonder what happened...
I miss being able to write actually.
I miss having the heart to sit there and writing a new chapter to my novel.
I miss the passion i used to have towards things.
I guess i grew up.
Not that i don't like the new me (well nt reli the new me..juz the current me i guess)
Some things, they don't change. But some things, they change.
Like what?
Like attitude, lk your way of thinking, lk the ppl you hold dear beside you, lk relationships, lk passion, lk...lk life.
This is all basically drivel actually...
None of this makes any sense does it??
But it does to me i guess...does it?
Oh well...just felt lk writing~
Even if it's drivel, writing random things makes me feel better^^
Wonder what happened...
I miss being able to write actually.
I miss having the heart to sit there and writing a new chapter to my novel.
I miss the passion i used to have towards things.
I guess i grew up.
Not that i don't like the new me (well nt reli the new me..juz the current me i guess)
Some things, they don't change. But some things, they change.
Like what?
Like attitude, lk your way of thinking, lk the ppl you hold dear beside you, lk relationships, lk passion, lk...lk life.
This is all basically drivel actually...
None of this makes any sense does it??
But it does to me i guess...does it?
Oh well...just felt lk writing~
Even if it's drivel, writing random things makes me feel better^^
Friday, April 8, 2011
ASS
Recently, i did a research on Dream Interpretation for an assignment.
Personally, i believe in Dream Interpretation almost to a T.
That's why, when i had a dream last night about one of my good friends being an ass, i realized, yeah, he is an ass.
But the problem is, i kinda had feelings for this ass at some point.
In my dream, he was spreading rumors about me,
and told me to my face that he wants to make me hate him.
In short, he WAS acting like an ass.
However, in Dream Interpretation, dreaming about your friend means aspects of your personality that that person displays.
He was trying to make me fall out of love with him (i've no idea why i was in love with him in my dream 0.0 ),
therefore, it may mean that I'M the one who is trying to make someone fall out of love with me.
which i guess, pre-consciously, i am.
However, through this dream, i also realised that this friend of mine, reli, RELI IS an ASS~~
therefore, i've decided to quit having feelings of any kind for him.
In a way, i guess i feel cheated.
In a way, i guess i expected something.
In a way, i guess i believed what he said.
In a way, i guess...i felt betrayed. I FEEL betrayed.
But, i lay no claim to him. He wasn't mine in the first place.
I get tired of it sometimes, trying to find someone who's mine.
When i hate being owned by people who DO NOT own me.
It's appalling how many people in this world think they own someone because they claim to love you.
Excuse me, 'fraid to brust your bubble, but he/she 's not yours if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
I used to belong to someone, but now i belong to me.
So, please, for the love of GOD...stop thinking i belong to anyone of you. =.=
It's annoying. 0.0
So, back to the issue at hand, the ass.
I guess, he's just as much of an ass as i am, because i'm in the same situation.
But i'm not the one who made any promises.
So...yeah. Gonna stand by my word.
All i wanna say to him is,
Personally, i believe in Dream Interpretation almost to a T.
That's why, when i had a dream last night about one of my good friends being an ass, i realized, yeah, he is an ass.
But the problem is, i kinda had feelings for this ass at some point.
In my dream, he was spreading rumors about me,
and told me to my face that he wants to make me hate him.
In short, he WAS acting like an ass.
However, in Dream Interpretation, dreaming about your friend means aspects of your personality that that person displays.
He was trying to make me fall out of love with him (i've no idea why i was in love with him in my dream 0.0 ),
therefore, it may mean that I'M the one who is trying to make someone fall out of love with me.
which i guess, pre-consciously, i am.
However, through this dream, i also realised that this friend of mine, reli, RELI IS an ASS~~
therefore, i've decided to quit having feelings of any kind for him.
In a way, i guess i feel cheated.
In a way, i guess i expected something.
In a way, i guess i believed what he said.
In a way, i guess...i felt betrayed. I FEEL betrayed.
But, i lay no claim to him. He wasn't mine in the first place.
I get tired of it sometimes, trying to find someone who's mine.
When i hate being owned by people who DO NOT own me.
It's appalling how many people in this world think they own someone because they claim to love you.
Excuse me, 'fraid to brust your bubble, but he/she 's not yours if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
I used to belong to someone, but now i belong to me.
So, please, for the love of GOD...stop thinking i belong to anyone of you. =.=
It's annoying. 0.0
So, back to the issue at hand, the ass.
I guess, he's just as much of an ass as i am, because i'm in the same situation.
But i'm not the one who made any promises.
So...yeah. Gonna stand by my word.
All i wanna say to him is,
YOU'RE AN ASS
Peace~~~
(now i feel like washing my mouth...the memory of the taste of green tea makes me wanna puke...=.= )
P.S. No, I'm not talking about you. How can i be so sure? Because the person I'm talking about, never reads my blog. N no, I'm not talking about you either. At least you read my blog once in a 100 years.
Peace~~~
(now i feel like washing my mouth...the memory of the taste of green tea makes me wanna puke...=.= )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)