从前从前

以前听朋友说拍拖时会吵架，我总会说，“是吗？我都没有啊～”
3年了，只吵了…1次吧……

××××

从前从前～
某个他说他不喜欢生气；因为生气浪费时间，对自己又不好。
他说，她不应该整天生气。
可是他忘了，是谁让她生气的？
他整天说，你应该这样不应该那样。
她对他好的时候，他会很大声的说，“你在做什么？干嘛啦你？”
当她惊讶，后退，吓着，说，“好咯，以后不这样咯…”
他会说，“又发烂炸啦？做么将容易生气的？玩下都不行吗?”
他会说，“我不喜欢生气，所以也不喜欢看到你天天生气的。”
可是他不知道，他没有见过她发烂炸。
她只是被他吓到，不懂要说什么而已。
可是他不知道。
为什么呢？
她也不懂。
一个自认很了解她的人，怎么会不懂呢？

××××

从前从前，
某个他说不想要她不快乐。
可是他却想改变她。
他不知道，
也许他知道，
她讨厌这样子

××××

从前从前，
有某个她
某个她身边，没有某个了解她的他

××××
有时候，
一个拥抱是不够的。
当机会已经快被磨光的时候
当那个曾经温暖的拥抱变质的时候
当她的不安，
不再是因为黑暗
而是因为你的时候
该怎么办？

眠不了的傻话

累了。想睡了。
可是脑袋却滚着滚着的。
是时候不要把所有责任都堆在自己身上了
无中生有
胡思乱想
并不是所有的事情都是我的错
别让自己难过

好想活在没有争执的世界

×××××

累了。想睡了。
脑袋却不愿休息。
在比较
在考虑
在怀疑
在猜测
明天会更好吗？
自古以来，“钱”和“情”都引起不愉快
不想被钱影响
可是，能不能别让我觉得你在吃我的钱？
不想和你算太多
可是…你自己也要会想…

想念无需为这烦恼的日子
抱着结束的心情开始
谁有能让摇滚的石头定下来？

×××××


其实摇滚，也是一种振抖

比亚也想你了

你有试过有些是很想忘记可是忘记不了吗？
有试过想念一个不该想念的人吗？
有试过做一些不该做的事吗？
吃一些不该吃的东西？
生气一些不该生气的人？

胡思乱想
内疚着快乐
责备着怀念
眼浅着等待 - 电话响起的那一刻

你懂吗？
我混乱的世界
走不前 - 却逐渐远离的脚步

你还有在看吗？

念你

比亚也想你了

Bon Odori

1Big Box oni for RM10~~

They say that when you're dating someone, you can see his or her true colors when he or she is with his or her friends because in front of friends, the carefully painted mask they carry of the perfect partner slips; even if it's just for a bit; and you see the true nature of that person.
Today was a test actually, i've already run through all the worst case scenarios, but none of them came to pass, instead, good results were yielded; and so the swing just got a little steadier.^^

****

Today i went to the Bon Odori festival with some new friends.
It started out awfully awkward...because the 4 of us had only 1 friend in common and he was bz messing with the GPS when i got into the car.
Thank God one of them started talking to me bout 10 minutes later...and once the ice was broken, it was fun all the way^^

The festival...hmm...there're a few words i can use to describe it.

Exciting: It WAS my first time there anyway...so it was really exciting~plus i found out that it was the 35th Bon Odori in M'sia, so even more excited. I do love a bit of history anyway~^^

Exhausting: We parked the car miles away from the stadium cuz they were too many cars and buses and we were a tad bit late. So we parked it near 富贵山庄 (Yes, the $$ cemetery) and walked about 15 minutes to the stadium and then bout 15mins back again in the dark after the event. If it wasn't for the company, i would have broken out with nerves 5 minutes into the hike. 0.0 On another note, we joined the dancing event during the 2nd round and also the 3rd round, they played 3 songs each round and each song was repeated twice. So we danced 12 times in total~(I feel slimmer already^^)

Funny: Although it will not make sense to most of you; there's smtg about parking so freaking far away n at such a weird location that makes me laugh. ;p

Disappointing: There was Japanese food, and Jap ppl selling the food as well, but there were only F&B available, no games, no Jap products. And the F&B selling venue was a wee bit small~

Admirable service: Along the way , there were a lot of personal directing us to parking spaces, helping cars to park by checking their blind spots and also people directing the pedestrains towards the shortest path to the stadium. And the main point is :::: All these ppl were FRIENDLY & HELPFUL. They're were not scowling or barking at us. Considering the hot weather and the huge crowd they had to deal with, this was a magnificent feat!! Hurrah for them!!!

All in all~it was an evening well-spent^^ Might go back next year~
Wondering whether i'll have a chance to go twith my family...it'll be really funny to dance with them. I can just imagine my mom swaying and doubling up with laughter as she steps on my toes and my dad mimicking the dancers with a serious but damn cute expression on his face~^^

Miss my family so much....

!!!!GOING HOME SOON!!!!

1st Day on the job

Today's my first time working as a part-time class assistant in a Creative Arts class.
It went quite well, happy happy nie~^^
But actually there was supposed to be a teacher in the class, i was oni supposed to help here and there cuz there're many small kids in the class (4yrs+) but then the teacher was sick today so i handled all 12 kids by myself.
It was really quite a nice experience.
There were 3 10yr olds in the class and they were vry polite and obedient and damn cute~~ ~^.^~
There were also 2 sets of siblings, they would help each other which was very helpful to me cuz i basically have no clue how to teach them to do their craft. (Though i DO try try try~~)
Some of the kids were very trying though, there was this 4yr old called K----, God..she was a handfull...she's got the attention span of a gnat and the listening and understanding capabilities of a 2yr old...
It was bloody murder teaching her how to cut and paste strips of paper into straight lines...=.=
The other kids were vry helpful though^^
End of the day, i DO love children~hehehe~~(hope i won't change my mind after a few more weeks on the job..;p)

I did not get into this situation to be alone again...
Watch it...
or i might just bail on you again...

Little Becky

We jump and leap
soaring through the air
As though we were ballerinas
performing with flair

The sky is the limit
Or so it may seem
But who was the one
Who so it deemed?

Without fear
Without hesitation
We jump and leap
We twirl and swirl
Laughing and jesting
Pretending we are immortal
Pretending the fall wouldn't kill us

Little Becky jumped the highest
She smiled the brightest
She twirled with the most flair
She was the most fair

Little Becky laughed and jested
She did not choose amongst her mates
She was a ballerina
or so she thought
And she was going to win the prize
and gain the world

But Little Becky did not know
the scheme that was behind the prize
little did she know
The truth behind the lie

Little Becky got her wish
She won with sparkle
She won with ease
And then she got her heartfelt wish
She held her prize
and regret she did

Little Becky was never the same
she did not smile
she did not sing
she did not dance
she did not jest
she did not befriend

Like a porcelain doll she sat
on her chair -
the prize she got

Little Becky was never the same
For her prize for jumping the highest
for smiling the brightest
for twirling with the most flair
for being most fair

Was sharing her happiness with the world

But greedy as we are
We shared her happiness
We took it
We stole it
We sucked it all away

And so Little Becky sat
on her chair -
her prize -
for being most fair

She sat and dropped a solitary tear
for she could feel no more
For we took it all away
Bloody Suckers that we are

We Lie

Dreams and Reality are totally different things.
I guess it was my fault for wanting things to go my way; for being used to the way things were and thinking, hoping that it would never change.
It's not that chances were not given, it's just that they were not appreciated.
I thank you for that now that i'm emo+sober, but i blame you for being so stupid as to not take that chance i gave you.
Every time i give you an opening, you smashed it. Either with your hopeless insensitivity, or mindless knack to ruin the mood with one word.
The "T" word.
Which got me thinking, this may be what you want; this kind of relationship we're drowning in.
All that bull about Forever and Waiting. Just Bull.
I guess i'm alright with it. Now that i've established that you want it to be this way too.
"Want" does not run the show, "Reality" does.
And reality deems that this is all it's ever going to be,

2 incompatible souls trying hard to cheat the other half and themselves in the process that they are trying to mold into 1.

The Impossible can never turn into the possible,
the Improbable was given a chance but was flung back into my face.
The line was drawn.

We are closer than we should be, but we are further apart than you would like to believe.

I will not settle for this.
You made it pretty clear that i shouldn't settle for this too.

Hence we continue treading in murky waters;
senselessly holding hands all the while knowing we shouldn't;
doing things we have no business doing together;
and trying to lie to the other half that we are there for each other.

And so we tread in murky waters together;
holding hands while knowing fully well that we would let go in the blink of an eye
if our own fortunes were at stake;
not really caring whether the other half falls into a pit;
while reassuring the other half that we're here,
but planning our great escape all the way.

And on we stride;
with our heads up our asses;
lying our hearts out;
burning common boundaries down;
all the while maintaining our sanity
but losing our humanity.