Watching over you

No matter what you say

No matter what you do

No matter where you go

I'LL ALWAYS BE WATCHING OVER YOU

Hello Strangers

Yesterday, i watched Hello Stranger with my friend at 1U.
Basically, the story line was alright,
Guy gets dumped by girlfriend and goes to Korea with the hopes that the ex goes too.
Girl lies to controlling bf in order to go to Korea to attend a Korean friend's wedding. (Then she gets dumped too.)
These 2 people meet and somehow or another, start vacationing together with the agreement that they do not tell each other their names.
Point: The guy's an ass and the girl's endearingly dumb.
Jokes all along the way. Ha ha ha.
And then the guy decides to marry his ex (He wouldn't marry her and that's y she broke up with him.)
So he sent a postcard back to Thailand to propose to ze ex.
Unfortunately, at the same day, he meets 2 Thai friends who tells him his ex is getting married.
His heart gets broken and the girl feels sorry for him.
Then these 2 heartbroken ppl start developing feelings for each other and the guy confesses to the girl.
So all lovey dovey, they were on their way to the airport when--- TaDa!! The guy's ex shows up.
The ex got the postcard and came all the way to Korea to look for the guy.
So the girl decides to leave them alone and let them reconcile.
But then~~~Then~~~THEN~~~
(And here the rant starts)

The idiotic guy decides,

Hey! Why should I go back to
my gf of 8 yrs while i can just
pine over a girl i met for 8 days???

and thus the idiot breaks his gf's heart again and waits and pines and waits and pines for a girl that he LOVES even though he only knew her for 8 DAYS.
I mean...GOD...
You were in a situation where you were not familiar with the culture, you were lonely and vulnerable, and you met someone.
Great!
If you are both available, wonderful! Get together!

BUT you have a girlfriend you idiot!! She came all the way from Thailand to Korea for you just because of a GODDAMN postcard!!!

So basically, the ending of this movie pisses me off because it's so unrealistic.
Ok, i get it. You want to make a movie that's different.
Then make a movie with a REALISTIC ending la~~
There're already so many movies out there which have fairy tale endings. We do not need more.
Having so many of these fairy-tale-like movies will only make the modern society more fanatical and naive and unrealistic.

Bottom line is:

If you are an ASS and unwilling to marry your girlfriend of 8 years, have a change of heart and she's still willing to marry your punk ass, CHOOSE HER. And not that random girl you knew for 8 days.

Rain

外面正在下大雨。
I went out to the Pasar Malam with my friend just nw,
and it started to rain when we were almost done buying food.
On the way back, the rain became heavier.
We hurried one friend to the bus stop before the rain got too heavy and went home separately.
Normal people who are stuck in the rain, without an umbrella, with their home a few blocks away from them, would have chosen to run i suppose.
But i chose to walk slowly.
Savoring the cold rain running down my face.
I wanted to take a detour. - Walk to the nearby park and just sit there in the rain
- then may be i could get rid of this helpless feeling deep inside me.
But i'm glad I didn't.
I left my keys with my friend earlier on and he came running with an umbrella to give those keys back to me.
If i had taken a detour to the park, he wouldn't have found me and would have been running around aimlessly.
Right nw, i still have the urge to walk in the rain.
I want to become sick.
So that i will be drowsy for a few days and when i come to,
i'll be a few days closer to being sane again.
Unfortunately, my exams are around the corner and i can't afford to go down.
Good for me i guess,
at least i'm still sane in some areas.
The rain is still pouring
it's calling to me...
and so's my hot bath.

我的野蛮女友

今天从看了“我的野蛮女友”
看之前我的朋友劝我别看，因为她说我会想起不快乐的事
因为我告须过他，其实那个女主角不是野蛮（其实是），而是因为没有安全感。
今天再看多一次，
又从戏里面有了新的领悟。
那个女孩总在笑，可是她并不快乐。
而那个男孩，是唯一一个看得出她的悲伤的人。
让我想起了，
在不久以前，我也有这么的一个他。
一个想要把我的不快乐都么掉的人
一个看得出我在笑，可是并不快乐的人
一个爱上爱逞强的我，的人
很可惜，我没有像戏里面的女主角一样给他机会
我比那女孩想得更多
那女孩给了她的男孩3个月
我给了我的男孩3天。
后来他告须我，那3天，比3分钟还要短。
回想起来，我还蛮对不起他的
如果我想那位女孩一样，愿意给大家一个机会的话，
不懂后果会是怎样呢
可是过去的已经过去了
人家过的好好的，我不会去打扰。
看了这套戏，
想着，他当初的心情是这样的吗？
渺小的我，原来也曾近拥有过这样的幸福，
那就够了。
“我的野蛮女友”， 真是一套好看的戏。^^

不懂。又怎样

人是犯贱的
一个人要说离开多少次才足够？
足够粉碎你的心？
走了就走了啦！为什么还要回头？？
说出口了，就别反口。
好久没有这种感觉了
这种方佛像行人走尸的感觉
好多个月前，有过这种感觉
那时候，一位预料不到的朋友陪我度过了那个难熬的晚上
可是今晚我联络不到他
有少许的伤心……
到底是多少次？？
3次？4次？
说了多少次“我不会回头了”
说了多少次“真的放手了”
人啊～真是犯贱
这次真的够了吧？
真的真的，够了吧？
不会再傻了吧？
好想学会如何在电话里bar人。
那么就可以从此从我的生活中bar掉
“不懂”
就两个字可以说明我现在的想法
我什么都不懂
我难过吗？“不懂，可是脸狭好像有点湿…”
不懂不懂不懂
不懂不懂不懂！！！！
不懂！！！！
对他说了的最后一句“Just get out of my life.”
心秋了一下
可是，够了
听你说离开听到够了
走就走！
有什么大不了？
又。怎。样，？！

心情呀～

夜深了，是该睡觉的时候了。
近来对于感情据状态的心情平复了。
不是说不会再想要用鞋子砸在我面前甜蜜的恋人，而是不会想要强求自己是否有得拍拖。
当适合的人出现，嗯，他就会出现吧。
嗯嗯～
这几天呢，大致上的心情有些复杂。
早些说那位好友呢，让我生气了的那位，
到了现在我还不懂，我到底是生气他欺骗我感情呢，
还是生气他回到那个坏女人的身边，作践自己呢？
至今，我没有好好的考虑我对他是什么感觉。
可是当我想到他被那个坏女人骗了那么多次还要继续作践自己的时候，
我就火遮眼。
最讨厌自己的朋友被欺负的了～
现在最好的朋友被踏上头了。
可是事实是他自己愿意的啦。
犯贱～
我已经说好了哦！你有什么是关于她的，别来找我！
自己拿来的…
嗯嗯～
应该就是生气他酱对自己～
还有还有，
好几天没遇到那位“司机”了。
上网也没有哦～不懂是不是在逃避我列？
只是想要借点东西都找不到人～T.T
可是hor,他逃避我也是好的。
都没有怪他啦～
嗯嗯～
顺便给自己机会戒掉他～也让他戒掉我～
嗯嗯～
那天hor，有人跟我说他现在天天都有看我的布拉格（以前明明就没有）
他说hor，他看不懂我写的英文文章，
所以当我要写东西给他看的时候，一定要写华语的。
可是hor，我是看心情的列！
哈哈哈～～
所以hor，这位“他”hor，不是我不要迁就你，
是……我的心情的问题。
哈哈哈～～
嗯嗯……完了。^^

PJ Traffic Jams

PJ Traffic Jams:
Today, i'm going to make a list of the things you need to get through PJ Traffic Jams. These things can be seen as AND or OR. Which means you can have all of them, or some of them, but not none of them. Trust me....0.0

1. Your sanity. (You'll go crazy if you don't stay in control.)
2. Petrol. (You need at least a half tank. My heart almost gave out when i saw my needle touching E.)
3. Music.
4. A person in the passenger seat. (Preferably not someone you dislike, or your journey will be even worse.)
5. A phone with internet connection.
6. An iPad with internet connection.
7. An iPhone Touch 4 with internet connection.
8. A lappie with internet connection.
9. Comfortable shoes. (Unless you drive bare-footed like yours truly.)

For now, this is all i've got. Number 5 - 8 can are interconnected, as you can see, therefore proving that you need to have a wireless internet router installed in your car.

Conclusion: Keep calm. Fill up your tank. Make sure your radio is working or your music source is alive. Have internet connection. And wear comfy shoes.

^^ Have fun ^^

That Step

Been thinking these few days.
Thinking about changing my perception.
I've always been realistic.
A bit too realistic i guess.
I've nv believed in "All You Need Is Love", there's so much more to life.
I guess it true, what they say,
I'm still young, what that matters is whether i'm happy or not.
All that matters is whether the feeling is right.
I should not be worrying about whether there's a future or not.
As my friend said: "Who knows if you have a future or not! All that matters is that i know if i'm not with him this moment, i'll regret it in the future."
A year ago, when things were starting to get complicated with him, i took a step back.
Now, when u ask me to step forward again,
unfortunately, i've lost the bravery i had back then.
A few months ago, when flowers started budding with him,
i took a step back, because i did not want to ruin wat we had.
But in the end, it turned sour,
and now we are standing to lose what we worked so hard to build.
I swear, the very next chance i get,
if i get those feelings again,
I swear, i will not take a step back.
Who knows what could happen.
I just want to be happy.
And i will be. ^^

Today

I don't know wat's wrong with me today.
Late nite insomnia coming back.
So...what happened today?
Had a great day because i really did study a bit.
Had a nice night cuz my new fren opened up to me.
Had a funny night cuz was talking bout another person with my housemate. (Unethical, but that's what you get by bringing "chuckler" home. ;p)
Had a nice afternoon cuz met an ancient coursemate when he was about to cross the street and talked to him a bit. Find him really interesting. And shy guys are so my type...(Was i born a bully???)
Had a nice dinner of wedges.
Had a numbing nap in the afternoon during class. (Sorry to those who were presenting~)
Took a pretty group picture with my MP lecturer.
Thought about the "taxi driver" when i was doing a quiz.
Recorded more evil laughter for the junior's RBC assignment. (Looking forward to the Jap meal this Fri with them~)
Had a great time watching the latest season of Bones. (Thx to my downloader, Wendy. Muahhx~)
Had a rush when we realised we had to register our timetable for nex sem today. (Surprise! Utar sucks...0.0)
Had a brief bubble over my head of wanting a Guinea Pig. (Was deterred by the thought of cage-cleaning duties.)
Had a brief impulsion to contact that "someone". (Was deterred by the fear of further complications.)
Is reminiscing about the time when someone would call me and lull me to sleep.
That pretty much sums up my day.
Niteties~~^^

突然怀念

突然有点某明其妙的怀念
突然怀念你亲我的额头
突然怀念你抱着我睡觉
突然怀念和你在starbucks喝茶
突然怀念在你的手上涂鸦
突然怀念你唱歌给我听，哄我睡
突然怀念你抓着我的手，说后悔放开了
突然怀念你送那一大束公仔给我
突然怀念你开车，我坐在隔壁和你说话
突然怀念你开车，我在隔壁偷拍
突然怀念你坐单车载我，我在后面鬼叫
突然怀念醒来的时候可以看到你的傻样
突然怀念你在手机里写着：你酱累，我帮你拿袋
突然怀念和你一起看Wall-E
突然怀念。过去。

Fairy Tales

My heart is pumping like a pistol.
I guess even after so long, i still care dun i?
She sent me a friend request quite long ago, i did not approve.
I even laughed and thought,"Like Hell i'd ever approve her."
Then today, i suddenly decided, "Why not?"
After i pressed that button, i had complete access to all her wall posts.
Like the curious cat i am, i went through her posts, trying to find out who she is in a relationship with,
and then i saw his post.
And i saw his profile picture. And i realised she was with him.
6 years. After 6 years, he got her.
It's just like a fairy tale.
It's not like i want to go back.
Ping!~
I realized.
It's not that i can't let go.
It's not that i hate really all couples and hate all who are in love.
I'm jealous. Horribly jealous.
I envy them because they can be so simple minded.
They can love without thinking too much. Without worrying if they have a future or not.
They don't have to think about alternatives.
They don't have to worry about how the other party might feel about this about that.
They don't push people away.
They don't hurt people.
I do.
Why do i?
I envy their happiness.
How can they believe in forever when tomorrow is unclear?
How can someone stay steadfast for so long?
I wish i was perfect.
I wish i didn't hurt people.
I wish i could be simple minded and naive and believe in fairy tales,
believe that All You Need Is Love.
like that stupid song.
I wish i could stop functioning.
I wish i could stop thinking.
I wish i could stop being this way.
I wish....i had a fairy tale of my own....
But then, I know me,
if i had one, i'd find a way to destroy it.
Cuz i'm me.
I destroy my own fairy tales.

2封信息

昨晚被朋友约了去看senior们的Final Year Project screening，所以今早早早就起床了（其实不是很早，而是所谓星期6的早）。

一起床就发现外面好暗，看了几次钟，“对啊～太阳应该出来啦～”
才发现外面还在下雨，原本想要睡回去的，可是想到如果我放飞机，会换来的颜色之后就快快爬起床了（结果她们都迟到 =.=)
起床第一件事当然是看电话，发现电话有2封信息。
是和我最好的男性朋友寄来的，
近来我们发生了一点事情。
关系变复杂了。也许是因为太在乎，所以他踏错一步我就很在意（其实不止一步）。
因为某些事情，我很生气他，对他好失望，所以好一阵子没有和他联络了。
他说，“我们怎么了？怎么比起最好的朋友更像陌生人？”
他说，“如果你生气我的话，我宁愿你骂我也不想要想我们现在这样。”
我看了过后，一边冲凉刷牙洗脸一边想。
想了我和他怎么从Hi Bye友便成了好朋友，再变成BestFriends，再变成暧昧，再变成现在这个样子。
当初说不能前进的是我。
想了我们的关系有多奇妙。想了为什么会变成这样。
想了是不是我的问题，我是不是不应该再生气 - 就吞下这口气，回到从前。
可是过后决定，我做不到。
如果真的是把对方当BestFriend的话，就不应该有太多的保留。
如果我勉强忍了这口气，勉强说没事，迟早会爆发的。
那对我不公平，也对他不公平。
而且我们已经走得太远了，回头是不可能的了。
发想了虽然他做错了，可是在我心中他还得有位置的。
所以决定了。
“我需要时间”
感触：能够在我心中占有BestFriend的status的人，不代表你做什么我都不会生气。只是如果我生气，我会选择一个对大家都公平的方式来解决。如果我在你心中占有同样的位置的话，我相信，你会明白，会珍惜我的坦白。而当我想通了的时候，我希望我们可以回到那个原点，笑着重逢。

可惜，不是你……

他们总说：“感情的世界里，往往没有谁对谁错”
后面还有一句的，可是在这篇文章里面用不上，所以被跳过了。
还有：“感情的事情，没得解释”
我好赞成。
今天，某个他又多介绍了我一句：“不喜欢，却又不讨厌，是不是很烦呢？”
我实在太赞成了！！
有时候，不是对方不够好，也不是你不够好，
只是感觉不对。
你不是讨厌他，你不想让他伤心，
可是你不爱他。
如果他会比较容易放下，过得比较快乐，
你愿意当罪人，大声地对他说：“我讨厌你”
只是为了让他比较容易放下
可是，你不爱他。
感情的事情，真的很难说，
也许你会问“为什么为什么”
可是除了“对不起，感觉不对…”以外，
还能说什么？
感情的世界里，往往没有谁对谁错，只有谁比较爱谁。
可惜，不是你……

Drivel

Just read one of my older blogs today and realised that i used to write happy things (well, reasonably happy things)
Wonder what happened...
I miss being able to write actually.
I miss having the heart to sit there and writing a new chapter to my novel.
I miss the passion i used to have towards things.
I guess i grew up.
Not that i don't like the new me (well nt reli the new me..juz the current me i guess)
Some things, they don't change. But some things, they change.
Like what?
Like attitude, lk your way of thinking, lk the ppl you hold dear beside you, lk relationships, lk passion, lk...lk life.
This is all basically drivel actually...
None of this makes any sense does it??
But it does to me i guess...does it?
Oh well...just felt lk writing~
Even if it's drivel, writing random things makes me feel better^^

ASS

Recently, i did a research on Dream Interpretation for an assignment.
Personally, i believe in Dream Interpretation almost to a T.
That's why, when i had a dream last night about one of my good friends being an ass, i realized, yeah, he is an ass.
But the problem is, i kinda had feelings for this ass at some point.
In my dream, he was spreading rumors about me,
and told me to my face that he wants to make me hate him.
In short, he WAS acting like an ass.
However, in Dream Interpretation, dreaming about your friend means aspects of your personality that that person displays.
He was trying to make me fall out of love with him (i've no idea why i was in love with him in my dream 0.0 ),
therefore, it may mean that I'M the one who is trying to make someone fall out of love with me.
which i guess, pre-consciously, i am.
However, through this dream, i also realised that this friend of mine, reli, RELI IS an ASS~~
therefore, i've decided to quit having feelings of any kind for him.
In a way, i guess i feel cheated.
In a way, i guess i expected something.
In a way, i guess i believed what he said.
In a way, i guess...i felt betrayed. I FEEL betrayed.
But, i lay no claim to him. He wasn't mine in the first place.
I get tired of it sometimes, trying to find someone who's mine.
When i hate being owned by people who DO NOT own me.
It's appalling how many people in this world think they own someone because they claim to love you.
Excuse me, 'fraid to brust your bubble, but he/she 's not yours if she doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
I used to belong to someone, but now i belong to me.
So, please, for the love of GOD...stop thinking i belong to anyone of you. =.=
It's annoying. 0.0
So, back to the issue at hand, the ass.
I guess, he's just as much of an ass as i am, because i'm in the same situation.
But i'm not the one who made any promises.
So...yeah. Gonna stand by my word.
All i wanna say to him is,

YOU'RE AN ASS

P.S. No, I'm not talking about you. How can i be so sure? Because the person I'm talking about, never reads my blog. N no, I'm not talking about you either. At least you read my blog once in a 100 years.

Peace~~~

(now i feel like washing my mouth...the memory of the taste of green tea makes me wanna puke...=.= )