Drivers and Passengers

I just realized another thing I'm really envious of with couples.

They get to talk in the car.

Don't get what I mean?

Well, i've had a chance to be alone in a car with another person fairly much lately and i realised that the conversation you have in a car is really more in depth. No one is in a hurry to get anywhere. (I mean, even if you were in a hurry, you can't just jump out the car.. =.=)

I'm envious of the conversations two people in a relationship have in that time that they're alone in the car. Cut out from all the noise and pollution and rush of the world. (Unless you're stuck in a jam. Even then! With someone by ur side, at least u can discuss how crappy the driving skills of the driver in front of you are instead of having to discuss the issue with the Domo swinging on ur windshield.)

I remember a scene. He's driving and holding my hand at the same time. We're talking and laughing. We stop talking, and i just look at the side of his face and study his expression while he's driving.

People who are in a relationship have that. I don't.
So I'm envious.

Haix.....I'm envious....

Books Books & More Books

Just realised i haven't blogged in so long~
Well..let's start with my most recent news.
I'm back in Ipoh; my wonderfully yummy hometown.
Am waiting impatiently for a package of psychotic genre books filled with kidnappings and crack stories about other worlds , it's due bout next week i think...Courtesy of my dear new friend who resembles a grizzly bear.^^

Was gonna shop for a book introduced by the Grizzly, but couldn't find it in MPH and din bother looking at Popular (the downside of being back in Ipoh - Crappy bookstores....== ), so got 2 books I've always wanted to read instead.

- Pride and Prejudice
(Sense and Sensibility next on the list)
- The Holy Bible
(which fills me to the brim with questions...I've got issues...0.0 )

Another thing i love about being back here is the air conditioning.
I mean, I'm not the "must-have-air-con-or-die" kinda girl, infact, i don't like the cold; but then, it's amazingly hot in Ipoh and my room has blackout curtains somemore, hence, no air-con = no sleep.

Also, I missed my king-sized bed to bits~~
Unfortunately, it is half filled with clothes and books. I've got books packed around my ears. (No doubt my incoming consignment shall join its brothers and sisters soon. <3)

The books currently sharing my bed:
1) The Holy Bible
(At Leviticus at the moment)
2) What On Earth Evolved?
(About to start on the Influenza)
3) Things Unborn
(Just reading the synopsis bores me...it's just sitting there cuz the cover is blood red.
Oh bite me...== )
4) Pride and Prejudice
(Jane just got sick and Darcy is getting more interested in Lizzy)
5) Underworld
(Finished it eons ago...)
6) Power of Three
(No...it's not Charmed...==)
6) Richie Rich, Casper & Archie comics
(Reliving my childhood^^)
7) Saint Valentine
(It's getting acquainted with dust.)
8) Mina magazine
9) 平旦，黑色水母漫画

Special guests:
1) My aircon remote
2) My phone

Somehow or rather, this blog about my current situation has turned into an accounting of how many books i have sleeping with me at the moment....=.=

Oh well...I guess my life is about books anyway....Happy happy life^^

Can't wait for
The Collector
The Wasp Factory
&
DiscWorld
to arrive!!

!!!!Excited!!!!

GOD...it's so liberating to rant in English again.....<3

变态跟踪狂？？

今天发生了一件还蛮大的事喔～

今天吃了晚餐回家时，看到一辆开得很慢的摩托，它迎面而来。然后那个司机一直看着我。我就觉得奇怪啊～就看回去咯～就以为认识的嘛～结果一点都不眼熟。
然后我就快步走回家啊～怎知道他竟然跟着我～然后停在我家门口。我进门了他还在门口看着我。
然后我跑回房间后，他还把摩托开到对面大树下然后继续在对面看着我。
知道我关门为止我还听到他的摩托声在我的对面响亮着。
然后他走了。

可是我就越想越觉得不对劲啊！所以就让家人知道了～

家人的反应都好大哦～他们都叫我回怡保之类的。
我有事做啊！所以当然不肯了。

接下来，考虑很久以后，决定告诉他发生了什么事。
他知道后打来问我究竟了。
可是就此而已。

父母说，怕那个是个变态跟踪狂。
说他现在知道我住哪里了，而且我房间又对着外面，很危险，
所以叫我到朋友家住。
我考虑考虑吧……

我说，我不怕啦～他应该不是什么变态。只不过是奇怪了一点而已。

其实，
一个女生
面对这种事情，
会不怕吗？

可是因为我不要让你觉得我靠这些东西引得陪我
所以我说我还好
既然你都不觉得我有危险了
既然你都不会担心了
那我还说这么多做么？

我会没事。
就算发生了什么事。也不关你的事。

开始讨厌你了

美梦^^

昨晚我发了一个梦

在梦里面，
身边有你。

梦里的我刚睡醒，
看见你的脸
和你说声早安
小孩似的跟你要了一个拥抱
跟你说了我发了的梦
你摸摸我的头，说我想太多了
忘了你有没有亲我
可是记得你说再见
我说“Have a good day”
你说“蛤？”
“Have a good day”
“You too”

你轻轻地起身
轻轻地开门
轻轻地离开了

然后我就醒来了

虽然知道是发了一场梦，可是在某个阶段来说，
它是真的。

好希望可以快点有再发到这一个梦。

^^我完美的早安^^

～～嘻嘻嘻～～

P.S. 今天烂kin的我难得很诚实。也吓到了我自己。应该也吓到我城市的对象了吧？0.0

逞强

一直都觉得自己很kin。
有些人不明白kin的意思。
是很逞强。
我就是很逞强。
特别是对我的另一半。

今天考虑了，
我需要大概2个月的时间学会对我的他不kin。

可惜，我都不会给自己这么长的时间

问：怎么说呢？
答：就说…我往往会在我们结束后，才会结束我的kin

听起来很笨…可是就是这样…

昨晚发了一封信息
还好手机没开
没收到

结果我发恶梦了
枕头生虫了0.0
是在尸体里爬的那种虫0.0
所以枕头袋拿去洗了

无厘头吗？

想你

快乐

他：我只想要你快乐

她：那你觉得你这样做我快乐吗

快乐
对不同的人有不同的定义

我觉得这样做，你会快乐
你却不快乐

你觉得这样做，我会快乐
我却不快乐

为什么大家不停下脚步
看看
到底怎么做，才会让他/她快乐呢

下次，
记得
要这样做…………………………

也许你爱她
可是你不懂得怎样爱她

也许你差一步就爱上了他
可是懦弱的你无法踏前了

遗失了的骄傲

今天看了一篇文章。
一个对我很重要的人恍然发现她的骄傲不见了。

她想着想着，说，应该是她被宠坏了，
一直以来，只有放弃，没有被放弃过
一直以来虽然放弃了，后悔，犹豫，的时候，都回得了头的
所以一直接受不了事情的进展
到了这个地步，
她拥有的，也只有文字的陪伴。

努力地写，把想告诉他的都写下来。
可是却从不连名带姓的说给谁
因为她知道他会懂
她希望他会懂
希望他会回答
于是
她遗失了她的骄傲

写了数百个字
为了得到他关心的几句话
那几句话却从未听到
就算有，也是带过

我说，
你之前是做错了
可是在你踏前这么多次以后
他还是没有反应
为了这样的男人失去你的骄傲，
多不值得啊

“删掉了MSN 一个人 在电脑前流泪..
删掉了电话号码 一个人 在窗前神伤

以后 再也不会期待
不会看他在不在线了
不会看他的空间了
不会期待他的讯息和电话了
不会期待他会关心你..”

虽然这是第N次删掉面子书了，
可是这一次
希望
希望
真的
真的
是最后一次了
电话号码也删去吧

放飞机…T.T

我的脸上是不是写着
“放我飞机吧”呢？

为什么会连续2天被同1个人放了2次飞机呢？
还期待着，却白等，还要追问责任时迟迟未受答复的那一种。

救命啦…

其实哦…有一点不懂为什么这么吊儿郎当，不闻不问的人会有这么多朋友呢？

也许只是我受到这种对待吧？
那我谢礼了…
我不要～～T.T

我的地位不保了哦～
算了啦…反正原本都没有什么地位啦……

其实被遗忘，
被敷衍
是很痛一下的哦……

不行！努力！

!!保持开朗!!

难得的开心篇～

今天开心因为考完了一个很难很难的科目。
今天开心因为好友忙里偷闲陪我吃渴望已久的BBQ。
今天开心因为6.30pm，天还亮着，叫朋友陪我去买蜡烛然后马上玩，而没有被拒绝。
今天开心因为过了好多蜡烛，很多灯笼，和一只孔明灯的中秋节。
今天开心因为买了生命中第一只打火机。（用来点蜡烛的）
今天开心因为我点了好多好多好多蜡烛。
今天开心因为我的猪肉丸掉了2次，我成功捡回2次，吃掉了。引起全场大笑。大家都好开心。（我真的不是故意的…那肉丸就是爱跳…0.0）
今天开心因为在这FB发达的时代，还有朋友发简讯给祝我中秋愉快。
今天开心因为终于诚实的对某人说了我的想法。（知道我不爽没有？还好你道歉…;p ）
今天开心因为有只猫猫对我撒娇！

今天不开心因为洗脸剂用完了，呆头呆脑的我却忘了买。（已经第2天了……）
今天不开心因为有人约了我，却放了我飞机。而且还是我白等了好几个小时才放我飞机。（训过了…^^）

把每天的快乐填满自己的心房，把不快乐压到最小。
想要把自己从谷底拉起来。
加油喔！
要把今天的开心，留到明天再回忆^^

其实

其实她知道
你不说她也知道
她比你清楚的知道

其实她明白
你不说她也明白
她比你更加的明白

其实
好多话，说不出口，写不出来
所以拥抱的时候
才会抱得紧紧
暗中传达

其实她知道
只不过她不想知道
她宁愿当作赔偿了
她宁愿电话永远不会再响起
永远也不必再烦他会不会回复

因为眼泪打滚时
知道自己是孤单的
总比知道自己不是孤单的，可是却孤单着；
好过

其实
你不懂
她有多愿意
她有多宁愿
自己
一个人
消失

Some People

There are many types of people in this world;
as many as they are grains of sand on a beach.

Just off the top of my head,
There are independent ppl, dependent ppl, carefree ppl, worry warts...etc....

I fall somewhere in-between independent and dependent.

Some people, they handle lonely nights very well.
Some people, they can ignore someone they know is not good for them.
Some people, they don't mind nightmares.
Some people, they don't mind going to dinner alone.
Some people, they say what they feel all the time.
Some people, are smart.
Some people, when they say "I'm ok, I can take care of myself."; they really mean it.

Unfortunately, i'm not Some People.

I wish i was. I wish i AM.
But i'm not.

Don't stop

Everyone has a person in their lives,
whom they think will never fail them.
You pile all your hopes up on that person,
but when that person fails you,
you don't feel pain
or worse yet - you are not even aware of what you feel
You are simply numb.
It hurts to breath.
Hurts to think.
Hurts to stop.
But it's not painful
because you don't stop long enough to allow yourself to realize you're in pain.

When those once sacred words are downgraded into a pacifier
a simple way to get out of a conversation
the easiest route out of having to say good night
What is it worth anymore?
What is the person you do that to worth to you anymore?

When that infallible person fails you
what else is left？
But to keep moving
keep moving
don't stop
don't stop to feel
don't stop to think
it'll be ok..
it'll be ok...
you'll be ok tmr..
you'll be fine....
you're not alone in the world...

you're just losing the last person you thought would never fail you.
what's the big deal

0

At least once in their lives, a person would ask,
"Why did God create a person like me?"

Summary:
"Weaklings don't deserve to live."

How To Save A Life - The Fray

This is one of my favourite songs of all time...
Every time i listen to it, i feel so touched...
To me, the meaning of the song is:
(Lyrics at the bottom)

Two people who were in love are on the brink of separation. They used to be best friends; there was nothing they couldn't tell each other but try as hard as they may, both of them don't know what went wrong in their relationship. Both of them are also hurting because of the love they lost and as well as because of the friendship they are losing.

This song is depicting their last conversation, their last chance to work things out. It's from the girl's perspective, but you can see that they boy is hurting too.

The beginning of the song is where the girl decides that they have to talk things out. She doesn't want to give up yet and she knows that the boy is aware that their relationship is dying as well.

However, when the last chance to talk out their problems is presented, they find themselves acting like strangers.

She thinks he is irresponsible, and that he has changed for the worst. She loves him a lot and tries to get him to change. She tells him all the things he's doing wrong but he doesn't seem to hear her.

She is certain she is right, that she knows what is best for him (without ever considering that he has a different view). But she knows him well enough to know that he won't listen to her.

He gets tired of her pressing his views on him and begins to raise his voice; arguing with her; she falls quiet; he knows she's waiting for him to apologize, to admit he's wrong; to give in so that they can start all over again; he loves her, but he's tired and so he falls silent too.

His silence gives her the answer she knew she'd receive but did not hope to receive.

And so they break up, losing a lover as well as a best-friend in the process.

If only someone had given in, if only someone was sure what the other person needed, they would have lost nothing.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWBzAzqyD9o)
Lyrics:
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

CHORUS:
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

5K散席了

(因为某些原因，照片就只有这么大啦…别埋怨…;p )

突然有种悲伤的感觉～
大家都上大学去了…各奔东西了…
虽然在2年前，我就已经跑掉去大学了，也预到了大家终有天会散，可是今天，那感觉特别强烈……
大家真的要散了…………

MunMun回Perlis了…
Andrew去Indonesia了…
PooiLing去Perdue U了…
ChiwYee去Sabah了…（虽然是旅行而已）
KeiKei和JJ去KL…（可是100年一定不会叫我喝茶…TT）
豪哥去Melaka了…
AhThoon和AhGirl去Cheras了…
MayYee去Kelantan了…
留在怡保的留在怡保，回去金宝的回去金宝…

我们几时才在会有机会在一起好好聊聊，疯狂的玩闹呢？？

每个gang里面，终会有一个努力维持大家关系的那一个谁，
每个gang里面，终会有一个感觉被忽略的那一个谁。
每一班朋友里面，终会有自己的矛盾，
每一班朋友里面，终会有自己的离散。

这个星期，我很开心因为来得及和许多位快要离开怡保的你们好好的聚一聚，
好好的玩闹，好好地谈谈…

可是我真的，真的真的不想到明天…真的真的不想大家离开…也许我自私吧…
可是我知道你们很多都是这么希望的。

最后，祝所有迈向大学人生的你们，
天天开心
学业进步
（单身的）桃花朵朵开
（成对的）幸福美满
还有，
^^!!中秋节快乐!!^^

还有还有！！！
!!!保持联络!!!
This is an order!!!!

试过了，才会懂得

今天终于有机会和一位好好好朋友谈心了。
好开心，她好像找到自己的幸福了。希望她能好好把握～快快乐乐，幸幸福福的和她爱的人在一起^^

我劝她接受他的时候，告诉了她：

“你不试，怎么会懂结果会是怎样呢？如果试了，还是不成功的话，你可以说服自己，已经试了，不行，那引诱也不会那么的大了。”

当说服她时，是用自己的经验的。
我试过了，不成功。所以我的引诱没有那么的大了。
可是并不代表没有引诱。

今天吃饭的时候想起了在马六甲的那段时光。
他懂我爱喝什么
懂夹菜给我
虽然短暂，可是确实是幸福的。

试过了，就懂了，
可是那并不代表不怀念的…

怀念着美好的时光，会让自己更快乐吧…

很庆幸，依然是朋友

我得不到的幸福，希望全世界渴望爱情的人都得到^^