Like cockroaches

Sometimes, you open your eyes and today seems much better than yesterday; but sometimes, it doesn't.
DOes everyone know what they want in life? Truly? Or do they all just hang on for the sake of hanging on? Do we lie to ourselves when things get confusing and complicated just because we do not want to face the truth? It differs from person to person i guess.
The fear of disappointment is sometimes so great that people just rather keep lying to themselves, or when faced with what they fear most: run. SOmetimes i wonder, would it be better to not have expectations at all? Or would it be better to learn the hard way and deal with all the disappointments in life. With 20 just around the corner, i reckon it's about time i learn to be more independent and mature. SOmetimes, you are forced to realise that no one is really waiting for you behind you. When you fall, there will be more laughing faces than caring hands. And those who say they love you, are more often than not, those who disappoint you the most.
One of my biggest flaws is that i put too much of myself into my relationships. And when people don't react to my true friendship the way i thought they would, i get heartbroken. Stupid really. Everyone is different. There is no law governing that people must love you as much as you love them. How many hearts have you broken? Maybe all the disappointment you're getting now is retribution; for all the times you disappointed others.
THere is a fear in me. A growing fear gnawing at me. What is she does not feel the same way too? Am i setting myself up for disappointment again? But then and again, you never know. THis might be the tree i've been waiting for. THat one seed that will grow into a lovely strong tree.
In the end, the fear is in all of us. But has that ever stopped any of us from hoping or trying? No. Because luckily, humans were born with an abundance of bravery and just like cockroaches, we can never be defeated.