growing up~

Recently i feel like i've grown up.
I"m not as childish as i was ( i think) and i can handle things better.
By things i mean human relations. Though no doubt i need to improve, still, there has been a vast improvement compared to my previous attitude.
When i was having a conversation with my frenz the other day, they mentioned that if i keep cooperating with tough groupmates, when i leave UTAR, i will no doubt have a very high EQ. I hope so too. Seeing that i have gained quite a lot of EQ in just half a semester, i think my EQ will have reached a sky high level by the time i graduate in 3 years.
Being "grown up" has its perks and downsides. Some of the perks are that you will not feel compelled to scream at people so much and you can resolve issues in a diplomatic way. Some of the downsides are that you will feel that your turning into a stone or a mannequin. You are wearing a mask of politeness in a sea of people. All the while wearing a slight smile on your face and giving brief nods of your head, while inside you're screaming for them to notice the real you trapped inside.
However, no matter how many perks or downsides there are, growing up is a required phase in everyone's life. No one can stay a child forever. No matter how much you want to keep yourself innocent and from turning into one of those mask-wearing freak-shows you hate so much, somehow or another, you'll eventually have to face the facts: that you can't survive in this world without a mask to protect yourself.
There is a way to keep yourself from turning into a complete block of stone however; the key lies in the company you keep. If there is someone next to you whom you can trust or at the very least, that you feel comfortable enough with to confide in, you're saved. Keep your mask for a raining day and smile with the one's you can smile freely with.
A recent event made me realize that i've grown up. But it's not an event i'm happy about. The hurt of being charged with a crime i did not commit is more than i am willing to put up with, more than i am capable of putting up with. Being called a tyrant in not so few words was shocking. After shedding a few tears, i contemplated whether that person was right. Although that person might not have realized i was hurt, s/he did touch a nerve and hence got me thinking. Am i really pushing them too hard? Do i seem like i'm so laid back all the time? That assignments and exams are a breeze to me? No. I do not think so. I work every bit as hard as all the rest of them and it is not warranted for someone to deny me by saying they have a heavier workload than i do.
Thinking about it, the old me would have blown off the roof top; so pissed that i would have fallen into a depression. However, now, i am merely waiting for an apology; for that person to realize the unjust accusation s/he made. I will let it lie for now. At such a crucial stage when everyone is trying their best not to drown.
But letting it lie does not mean i do not care; it does not mean i'm not hurt. If i was truly understood the way i thought i was, this misunderstanding would never have had happened. My sensitivity is sometimes more than anyone can hope to comprehend. I do not wish to command everyone to bid by my will, i merely ask for consideration. For i may be grown up. But i am fragile within. I am not as tough as i look. And unfortunately, very few realize that...