Goodnight

A reality hit me today,
--the sound of my laughter seems unreal.
It would be going to a length to say it's fake,
because it isn't
but it is not real neither.
a whole new world of logic..
Or may be am i being too paranoid?
afterall, i AM hypersensitive, - not like a bat, but not in a good way neither.
Revisited the vague thought of sleeping with the lights on again
but it's no good.
I've visited that thought many times, but have never put it in action even once.
Reason being i dislike sleeping with light in my eyes too much
Hence i sleep curled up in a ball.
Like a dumpling or a caterpillar in a cocoon.
I sleep well protected by my blanket and the weight of my huge pillow on top of me.
It's gotten to the point where i can no longer sleep well without something heavy or of weight weighing down on me anymore.
Yesterday, a certain someone asked "Why are you so insecure?"
After you've given me all the promises in the world, and have even started to act on them,
why am i still so insecure?
Well, have you ever thought it's maybe because you broke your promises too many times?
But that's besides the point.
I never could find the reason by this incurable disease of mine.
Funny though,
I was never abandoned as a child, although i might have been used to being ostracized by my peers since primary school.
It sucks to be different. Back then i mean.
Or is my condition due to the fact that i know too much about reality?
Whatever it may be because of,
i want to sleep with the lights on again tonight.
But knowing myself, i'll probably settle for being a cocoon again instead.
Goodnight.