The Lady

She wept. Oh yes, she wept.
For what she would never own again.
That which she treasured
That which she coveted the most.
Her eyes were cold as ice,
but in her heart, burnt a fire,
a passion hot as the lava from a bubbling volcano.
Aching for the treasure she lost.
Lost
In her dreams,
she grasps at thin air
trying to clutch her fleeting illusion.
In day,
bright sunlight streaming through her curtains
the chinking of china as the servants bring in the tea
The desperate woman,
who screams and threshes in her sleep
who wails like a siren
who tears at her hair and face with inch long nails in her frenzy,
She becomes what she is
what she is supposed to be
once again
A Lady.
Poised, perfect.
A Lady.
Dressed immaculately.
With eyes cold as ice,
but a heart burning like fire.
A Lady.
Dressed in black.
Attending her child's funeral.

多余的付出。友

突然有感触。
有没有试过，你当某个谁，或某些他们是宝，可是他们却当你是草？
不在乎你的存在
不在乎你的死活
你为他们付出了这么多，这么多年了
一个字，“来”
你就飞着去。
就算远，就算不方便，就算累
都会去。
到头来，好像烟幕被拉开了
你发现了，他们不在乎你
因为当你对他们有要求时，
你最在乎的那个某某某，
轻易地把你推开了。
突然领悟到，你的付出是多余的
被当成应分的了
听说大家大了就会领悟到真正的朋友是谁对吗？
看回过去，只有我向她奔跑
说和我拍拖的人会很辛苦的是她
知道我被她说的话伤了过后还会很够力的对我说“哎呀…不要伤心啦…没有人是完美的…”，也是她
觉得自己很笨，那件事后还坚持了这份友谊
也许在她的眼中我的感受不重要吧
累了
不想再盲目的配合她们
不想再盲目地追寻她
不值得
也许有一天他们会发觉到，"哎呀，怎么好像少了美婷？"
也许他们永远都不会
已经不想在乎了
因为不值得
可是明白了不值得，并不代表不痛
该看开了吧？
不想在乎了…
这份友谊，不值得

书

说好的最后一次机会。
看了一本书，一本让我对生活有了很大领悟的书。
常看戏里面，男女主角相约好几年后，5，10，8年后，结婚。
我觉得好慌妙。
可是这本书里的男女主角却约好了，7年后，男未娶，女未嫁，互相仍然相爱，就结婚生子，白头偕老。
7年。
书里男女主角相爱，可惜缘分已决。
女的忘不了男的错误。男的挽留不了女的。
男的决定专心事业。
女的决定随风漂流。
其实这本书和平常的没什么两样。
爱来爱去，烦死了～
可是情节却感动得了我。
这本书其实还有下集，好想它快点出哦！
迫不及待想要看它的结局。
就如想当年的“爱情的海洋”感动了我，这本书，也能让我深深的感动～～
两个人的爱情故事，其实千篇一律
让他精彩的，是中间的插曲
而最令人感动的，不是故事的开始，不是他的中部，
而是它的结局。
7年？
我又会有多少个7年啊～

毒针

想念，有如毒针。
插进你的心了，要拔出来的时候，不容易…
这根毒针是什么时候插进来的呢？
突然的。毫无预兆的。插了进来。
想念一个不该想念的人，是多么的…白痴啊…
自作自受
心理面终于清楚地知道了，明白了，他们都对了。
他没有离开过
在心里，种得太深，好难拔…
毒针
毒瘾起了
给自己最后一个机会戒掉。
可是，是最后一个吗？
好想勇敢的，大声地说：再见
这2个字却比想象中难说
该结束了的，早就该结束。
对于毒针，也许对于安全保
也许适合孤单一个人到老
也许应该要再痛些
不应该那么快寻找解药
也许应该回到那个黑暗的地方
也许哪里才适合我
不想伤害任何人
可是那个黑暗的地方好可怕…
等待着天亮…等待着后天的到来…
等待着…给自己最后一个机会…
是吗？

Blabber

Haven't drawn in a long time..
so just picked up a pen suddenly today and this came out.
I photoshoped the eye to make the red veins and made the whole thing look like it's scanned it by playing with the color, but that's all.
Am gonna help the junior with their Radio BC assignment tmr.
Haven played with my voice for so long..Hope I dun let em down^^
Have got 3 more Harry Potters to go I reckon~
Itching to read the papers for no apparent reason.
Blabber blabber blabber~
That guy in the pic does look like a drug addict doesn't he?
Feel lk refining him..Playing with the idea of gathering all the stuff i've drawn n make it the wall pic of my blog.
But I"d probably frighten ppl too much..hahaha~~
Blabber blabber~~
Later~

KILL THE BLOODY CHICKENS

Fell myself going slowly out of control. I'm a very light sleeper. Noise and light can keep me awake for hours.
In my PJ room, the main problem is NOISE.
First, it was a child. A 1yr old crying at the top of her lungs early in the morning. It went on for weeks. I considered moving, because there was just so much you can take. But i was shot down because my reasons were not listened to and/or considered not REASONABLE enough.
Thank GOD, the kid grew up. She still screams, but less frequently. And not too early in the morning. So that phase was over.
Now, i have a new problem. And it's nt as easy as a screaming child who will stop crying once her mother picks her up. It's CHICKENS.
Mindless animals who have massive lungs, no common sense and seem intent on waking up the whole neighborhood.
At 6am, they start crowing. 2 of them. They take turns. They crow for 10 minutes and stop. It is virtually impossible for me to get back to sleep after that.
At 7am. They crow for half an hr and more!!!!!!! I'm not kidding, i keep count. As i said, i can't get back to sleep.
I'm a late sleeper. I sleep at 12+, earliest at 11. GOD DAMN IT if i'm woken up EVERYDAY at 6am, especially when I've got class at 1PM like today.
The way i see it, i've got a few options:
1. Complain to the houseowner. (He loves his chickens to distraction. Do you think he'd just kill em? Though i pray to GOD he goes...)
2.Complain to my parents and move. (This house doesn't even have a water heater which many other places at the same price do. But it's impossible that i'll move because my parents are dead set on this house and my P1 is here. Even if i move out on my own accord, i can't cart my friend and the P1 along with me. So, no go.)
3. I can poison the chickens.
4. I can strangle the chickens.
5. I can break their necks.
6. I can break my knuckles. (Like i almost did this morning.)
7. I can alter my sleeping habits to suit the chickens. (Lord...i feel lk a saint. 0.0 Self-sacrificing...when all i have to do is to KILL THE CHICKENS.)
8. I can get earplugs. (But then i won't hear my alarm. I won't hear the banging on my door when there's a fire. I won't hear the screams of my housemates when a psycho comes in and murders us all. And i won't b able to hear my door lock being picked.)

How many lessons were we meant to learn on earth? How many were we meant to learn in University? Am i being taught to be less of a light sleeper?
It's too early in the morning to be optimistic. I'm gonna stick to KILL THE BLOODY CHICKENS.

Kiss The Rain

She never realised how much she missed his smile until the moment she saw it.
He was her Sun.
The one who always shone on her rainy days and made the clouds go away.
but in the end, he was the darkest cloud in her sky.
His carefree attitude
His smile
His way of always putting her first
Memories....
The past...
Put them behind you and move on, Fate Commands. holding a whip in HER hands.
Tears almost fall, as the sound of the keyboard rings out.
Kiss The Rain
Memories
But we can't go back. She thinks.
I want to go back. He says.
There's no going back. No matter how much we want to. The End.
Too much lies between them.
Too many buried mistakes, broken promises, irreconcilable differences.
She ponders. To meet him would be near fatal.
Her Devil says Go, her Angel says Don't.
She says What The Hell.
To her ruin she shall parade. With her skirts up around her knees and her heart on her sleeve.
Return she shall, with her heart in tatters and his hopes broken.
Ahh~but can she do it?
What will our heroine do?
Fight or Flight?
Is there really still a possibility that they'll come out friends?
The possibility is too low to be worth stating.
Ahh~but the one who holds her heart, the scoundrel called Cupid,
when will he strike again?
Will he see fit to strike at the same spot?
Fate curls her lips in the corner, sitting in her throne,
she waves her delicate fan of Hopes and Dreams,
and watches as the chaos unfolds.
The chaos of our Heroine's Fight. For her heart, and for the right way to say,
Goodbye.

梦--等价交换？

近来的梦都奇奇怪怪的～
不是梦到结婚就是梦到怀孕。
OMG…
突然觉得是时候戒掉他们了。
3棵树一起砍掉！！
哈哈哈～有些残忍～
好吧，那就搬家吧。搬得离那些树远一些。那就不会常常想要去树下躲着遮阴了吧？
那奇奇怪怪的梦也该会停了吧？
----
总觉得自己付出的会好多，可是收回来的并不多。
也许不一定所有事情都需要等价交换，可是如果你付出了一段时间，得到的却是…………
你会不伤心失望吗？
其实也是脆弱的，可是为了一个“情”字可以付出好多。
等价交换…并不真的是要这个。
想要的也许只是一些行动，告诉我，"我知道你的付出"
好多次想要不再付出了，可是到了后来都还是一样的。傻。
啊～～～好累啊～～
想要躲到一角…什么都不用想…什么都不用理…
～～需要一个假期～～

司机先生

司机：这位乘客，你好~
乘客：你好，又是你哦，看你在这里等候已久了。不好意思哦，上次上了你的车三分钟，可是发觉你的车并不是我想搭的，所以就下车了。。
司机：哦，是哦。恩，今天我来这里是想再次乘载你的。。。上次我也不好意思，以为乘客你喜欢这样布置，换了换了。。。
乘客：嗯。。有巧克力？
司机：对啊，放了些巧克力，现在换回和放了些我本身喜欢的东西。这里还是一样，一样专程过来载你，希望适合你～
...那，这次你是看到这辆车，想上车吹吹风享受你爱吃的巧克力而已，还是这次你想乘搭这趟车去到你想去的地方？
乘客：而…我能先享受你这辆车的新布置和巧克力先吗？如果一定要现在选的话，那，司机先生，谢谢你了，可是我觉得我也许会等下一辆车了吧。可是如果你能等一下的话，等我想好了，再告诉你吧。^^

今天的快乐

什么才是快乐？
大家的答案都会不一样吧？
对我来说，
快乐是巧克力，
是轻声的，不舍得，“小心啦你”
是一个大手掌拍在头上，仿佛在说，“我罩着你”
是朋友简单一句“要一起吃饭吗？”
是打Angry Birds过关了
是看了一套感动的戏
是买了一件漂亮的衣，可爱的鞋
是被人唠叨“拜托你吃饭啦”
还有好多好多～可是现在太累了，想不起…
也许真的要尝试过，失败了，才会懂得珍惜吧…
喜欢把脚步放慢的我们…
喜欢做回自己的你
喜欢没有压力的我
可是，今天的快乐，明天还会存在吗？
我会好好珍惜今天的快乐。
在它还没有消失，还没有变质之前。
明天会发生什么事呢？
不懂
至少今天我可以抱着我的快乐睡觉^^

莫名其妙的快乐

她突然有种莫名其妙的快乐。
绷着他送的巧克力，吃呀吃呀…
还没洗澡，开着戏看。
门是打开的，因为她知道有人爱偷偷经过偷看她。
她记得他问过，“你喜欢怎样的人？”
那时是没有答案的，因为那时候他不是她喜欢的类型。
她喜欢稳重的，木木的，细心的，可靠的，有至少一个专长的，高大的。等。等。
沉醉在自己的快乐中，不想被打扰。
沉醉在那个跟想象中不一样的他的幻想，
不傻的他好好哦。
足以让她陶醉。
幻觉呀～不想醒啦。不想被打扰。
就自私的，想要享受自己脑子里制造的幸福。
不想被提醒那是幻觉，不想被提醒那都不是真的。
她蹦着他的巧克力，
傻笑着，享受着，
不想回到现实的生活。
Smile~~^^

2011年的白色情人节

白色情人节
从来就没有庆祝过的节日
听到“情人节”就觉得烦死了～
讨厌看到大家通街甜甜蜜蜜的。腻死了…
今年白色情人节，和以往一样，没什么两样。
-抱怨着孤单，和朋友们一起度过。没有很刻意的，就刚好在一起。
不一样的是，这次有补课。
不一样的是，这次有礼物。

一个玻璃瓶子里面装满了巧克力。
是她那天告诉他她好想要的一个奢侈。
收到礼物的那一刻，她好开心。
因为
1）人生中第一次有人白色情人节送礼物给她
2）他竟然会记得她当时说的话
有种受宠若惊的感觉…
看见他，突然有种感觉，可能是一时的冲动吧…还是真正的想法。
想要把最完美的自己给他。
不是这个破碎了的她。
就算是哪一个他，也值得拥有完美无缺的她。
而不是像一盘碎蛋的她。
有一天她总会再一次的完美。
可是到了那一天，他是否还会在呢？

突然的孤单

今天看见了很多情侣档。
觉得大家都好快乐～
在想，如果有人每天早上和你说声“早安，我想你了”
那该有多好
如果那时你爱的人，那该有多完美…
好像渐渐地忘了那感觉……
好羡慕大家，有着一个很爱他们的人在他们身边，支持，鼓励，爱护
更加羡慕的是，他们也爱这个在身边的人。
爱情
对……欠缺的是爱情…
好想爱，好想拥有爱，的心，的灵
可惜，找不到爱，感受到，却不能要，却要不到
大家身边有个人好幸福哦
大家有个他们爱的人在身边，比普通的幸福更加幸福哦～
他们每天按着电话在傻笑
我快忘了那感觉
突然觉得好孤单……
只能傻笑…祝福…羡慕…
好想有一个人，知道我爱巧克力，所以偶尔买巧克力给我
知道我爱周杰伦，买专辑给我，还是简单的在FB播一首他的歌tag我
每天早上sms我，说“早安情爱的，我想你了”
每天睡前，无论多夜，都会给一封讯息“宝贝，我睡了，我爱你”
也许有点浪漫主义吧…好想有这种平淡，却特别的幸福…
可是，为什么，发生了，心却封锁了。
到头来，原来我找不到爱。
没有爱的“早安，我想你了”，也只是一个早安。
没有爱的“宝贝”，只会令人觉得麻烦，抗拒。
好孤单…
在想，我的爱，到底去了哪里
它到底几时才会回来…………

What I Miss

I miss You and the playground
I miss You and those promises you never kept
I miss You and that scene in the car
I miss You and those Lies you told me,
although You thought You were telling the truth.
I miss You and that chair and that water bottle.
I miss You and that pink jacket.
I miss You and those slippers.
I miss You and that darn game.
I miss what i used to call You.
I miss what You used to call Me.
I miss that frown on Your forehead when i tell You i didn't eat.
I miss the way You carried me from the bus to the lamp post.
I miss all the time we spent together.
I miss You and KFC.
I miss You and Your phonecalls.
I miss You and Your dirty clothes piling up in the laundry basket.
I miss You and the way Your eyes light up when i cook for You.
I miss You and Your rare letters.
I miss You and that room.
I miss You and that ruined bed.
I miss You and.....
I miss You....

粤语长片

近来看了一套粤语长片，故事情节来来去去都一样。
女主角结束了一场恋情，伤心难过的时候，有追求者出现了。
其中一位是女主角的好朋友，可是已有女朋友的。
女主角为了想要拥有幸福，在自己还没有预备好的情况之下接受了认识不久的追求者。
可是心里其实还念着旧情人而且其实已对好友动情。
看到这里，我就觉得，干～做么会酱乱的～～烦啊～
女主角不爱新对象，却想要在他身上找到幸福，有没有扯了一点？
看了一下，就觉得快要烦死了…
所以就决定不看了。眼屎不见为净～=.=
粤语长片真的很烦～～即使才会结束呢？？？？？

水瓶座与3大星座爱情运之大讲解

水瓶座：金牛座
不是太和谐的一对。
金牛座会被水瓶座潇洒的态度所吸引，想试一试他们的生活方式，可惜一旦两人在一起，情况会相反，金牛座会怕了水瓶座这一种太极端的想法和思想行为，太变化多端和不理道德规条的个性。但想远离时，又会被水瓶座那种不甘心的压力弄得无力拒绝。所以真是要开始恋爱时，必定先看清对方。
Ya meh?? oooo~~~~~~~~~~~~

水瓶座：双子座
又一对非常情侣。因为大家都是风象星座，变化好大，感觉很相似。所以相识之初，很容易被对方“电”到，急速堕入爱河，大家都飞不出大家的掌心咯。你们这种自由自然开放豁达的态度，谈起情来比一般情侣来得潇洒，不会将爱情变成了令自己不开心的压力，大家生活圈子又广阔，真是啥都不用愁，两个人之间的关系可谓这么近又那么远，介乎友情同爱情之间，有什么都讲出来，不会有隔夜仇。
Hahaha...i tot i was the most compatible with this sign de tim~~~

水瓶座：处女座
怎样形容你们这一对？其实你们不会摆在一起！感情的开始通常是处女座觉得水瓶座这个朋友有意思，平易近人，见多识广，正是自己所欣赏的。而水瓶座也会因为贪新鲜觉得处女座的人很特别，和他以前有过的情人有不同之处，想试试在一起。可惜，水瓶座一旦深入处女的世界，会觉得有处女座的人什么事都要抓得很紧，死板固执，不晓得转弯没关系，还过份罗嗦，跟他根本沟通不了。而处女座也搞不清水瓶究竟想怎样，变化无常不说，还时常想一些不切实际的事，真有点怕了这家伙！
true boh~~reli? do you fear me?

Chaos

They say he's on her mind.
She's taken aback. Is he? She seldom catches herself thinking about him.
He says her smile is filled with pain,
she cringes. Is it? Is it that obvious?
She has shown him herself, now she wants to take it back.
But it might be too late.
She tries to run, but he stops her.
It's moving too fast, but he says let it go.
She is confused, is he still on her mind?
She tries not to think. And realizes so many of his things are still around.
Everything that has been a part of her life.
3 years is not a short period of time.
Barring her soul is not what she's used to.
But,
He's not hers. not completely.
hE does not own her anymore.
he is not supposed to be in this situation.
They are not supposed to know her p
She tries not to think.
She tires to smile with conviction.
She tires to convince herself she's ok. and it's almost working.
She listens to them laugh and talk and she feels better.
In a world of noise, she hides herself.
Allowing herself to drown in the din.
She feels safe.
A momentary respite.
From all the chaos the dark brings.
when she closes her eyes.
Hence she breaths her words, finding beauty in her letters, a safe harbor in her sentences.
She turns to the clock.
She sighs.
It's time.
To face her dreams.